The 102nd humorous poem [inspired by WendyCope’s anthology ‘The Funny Side’ - published by faber and faber]

The sun is nowhere

This summer’s delayed

My throat is like sandpaper

Earth is my head

I read Wendy Cope’s masterpiece and I blabber:

“Will I ever be published by faber and faber?”

The news just announced

Now, at BBC

That people live longer surrounded by sea

“Rubbish” I say and switch of the TV

“I’d live longer only if ff published me.”

So I close my eyes gently

And drift off to a dream

There’re thousands of people

Is my name that they scream?

Am I finally up on the poetry ladder?

Ms CGP published by faber and faber?

I awake with a smile

(for just a second or so)

My poem’s unfinished

I can hear the wind blow

The aches and the pains

Say “hello” once again

I don’t even get why

I’m a Wendy Cope fan

In fact if she’d be here

I swear that I’d grab her:

“How the hell you got published

By faber and faber?”

I’ll try one more stanza

My pain’s getting worse

My fever is up

And i turn and i toss

I have finished my drugs

But food still tastes like rubber

*And I’ll never be published by

faber and faber

*Alternative ending:

And I’ve run out of rhymes

For the ‘faber and faber’